“If we truly have in mind the best interests of those who follow us, then we will nurture them every day they are with us, no matter how short or long, then cheer them on in the next thing God has for them, whether that is in our group or cause, or someplace far away. Loyalty doesn’t mean a person will be just like us, do only what we say or be on our team forever. Loyalty means a person contributes with who they are and what talents they have to make us all better.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
I like that definition.
</idle musing>
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Cultural blindness
Lawson Stone has been doing a 365-day series of self-portraits. Actually, though, the pictures are just excuses to muse. I found today's to be very good; he was reflecting on the Neo-Assyrian king's "lion hunts," which led him to reflect on cultural captivity. Here's a snippet:
<idle musing>
Lord, open our eyes to see!
</idle musing>
I wonder…what blindness might be keeping us from seeing heartless evil being enacted right before our eyes? What actual gratuitous cruelties do we accept as the norm, even find entertaining? It would be easy to say we are all blinded by our culture, nobody sees this stuff until much later…but Samson knew. David knew. The biblical authors knew.
Biblical people should too.
<idle musing>
Lord, open our eyes to see!
</idle musing>
The call
“I don’t preach myself. I preach the call. The call comes from God and I’m just responding to a call. That keeps you humble. It ought to be our human desire to do something for God and be able to say that he used me. A cult leader preaches himself.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Yep. If a person is preaching him/herself, you know there's a problem.
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
Yep. If a person is preaching him/herself, you know there's a problem.
</idle musing>
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
A new denomination?
Bill Mounce has a weekly post on the Koinonia blog for Zondervan. This Monday, he talked about his wife's experience with the local Toastmasters meeting. He ends by saying: "I would like to attend a church that shared more in common with Toastmasters than it does with traditional church life."
<idle musing>
Read what he says about their meetings; you will probably agree. Would that all churches were as open and honest and caring...
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
Read what he says about their meetings; you will probably agree. Would that all churches were as open and honest and caring...
</idle musing>
Looking for god
“We get so many of these people who are coming really just to look at you, to prepare to go look somewhere else. They’re looking for God, they’re really looking for God. And they’re looking for God at a place. We’ve got a young man who is looking for God and he hasn’t found the God he wants here. But really, in his own mind, he just wants adventure. He wants adventure. He won’t be totally honest with himself. And boy, we get them all the time. And sometimes we settle them down. Sometimes we’ve been able to settle some of the people down and the ones that we help to settle down a little bit are the ones that do pretty well when they eventually do leave.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Isn't that an accurate commentary? He hasn't found the god that he wants; he's just looking for adventure. Sounds all too familiar...and God stands right next to us, waiting and wooing us—the "hound of heaven" as Augustine called the Holy Spirit.
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
Isn't that an accurate commentary? He hasn't found the god that he wants; he's just looking for adventure. Sounds all too familiar...and God stands right next to us, waiting and wooing us—the "hound of heaven" as Augustine called the Holy Spirit.
</idle musing>
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Self-absorbed
“I like the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. But I’m seeing the American church becoming an AA center where people are never healed from their problems. They are always taking care of their own addiction or ailment, but don’t make time for other people. As a result, they haven’t been healed. They need their sins forgiven. They need to get rid of their addiction and come off of that mentality that they can never be healed! It’s a good place to start, but you cannot stay there. He came to make us whole. He came to mobilize us so that we could rescue the perishing and care for the dying.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Yes. We need to get rid of the hamster-on-the-wheel syndrome and allow God to heal us and set us free.
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
Yes. We need to get rid of the hamster-on-the-wheel syndrome and allow God to heal us and set us free.
</idle musing>
Monday, January 25, 2010
Modern Slavery
“Why would anyone want slaves? Why would anyone want to work people for less than minimum wage? People who approach business that way want to increase their individual profit at someone else’s expense. That is not God’s way. That is anti-God. And so justice is fundamentally a stewardship issue. How do I use my gifts and skills to make sure that someone else has a better chance? That’s justice.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
I think that is a bit overly simplistic, but it is getting at the heart of justice. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses:
וְיִגַּ֥ל כַּמַּ֖יִם מִשְׁפָּ֑ט וּצְדָקָ֖ה כְּנַ֥חַל אֵיתָֽן
But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an everflowing stream. (Amos 5:24 NRSV)
Of course, you need to read the verses leading up to that rebuke:
Amos 5:18 Alas for you who desire the day of the LORD!
Why do you want the day of the LORD?
It is darkness, not light;
19 as if someone fled from a lion,
and was met by a bear;
or went into the house and rested a hand against the wall,
and was bitten by a snake.
20 Is not the day of the LORD darkness, not light,
and gloom with no brightness in it?
21 I hate, I despise your festivals,
and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
22 Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them;
and the offerings of well-being of your fatted animals
I will not look upon.
23 Take away from me the noise of your songs;
I will not listen to the melody of your harps.
24 But let justice roll down like waters,
and righteousness like an everflowing stream.
If you want to get a real feel for the impact of that set of verses, I highly recommend the first chapter of A.J. Heschel's book The Prophets. If you have never read it, you owe it to yourself to read it! Words to live by...
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
I think that is a bit overly simplistic, but it is getting at the heart of justice. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses:
וְיִגַּ֥ל כַּמַּ֖יִם מִשְׁפָּ֑ט וּצְדָקָ֖ה כְּנַ֥חַל אֵיתָֽן
But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an everflowing stream. (Amos 5:24 NRSV)
Of course, you need to read the verses leading up to that rebuke:
Amos 5:18 Alas for you who desire the day of the LORD!
Why do you want the day of the LORD?
It is darkness, not light;
19 as if someone fled from a lion,
and was met by a bear;
or went into the house and rested a hand against the wall,
and was bitten by a snake.
20 Is not the day of the LORD darkness, not light,
and gloom with no brightness in it?
21 I hate, I despise your festivals,
and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
22 Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them;
and the offerings of well-being of your fatted animals
I will not look upon.
23 Take away from me the noise of your songs;
I will not listen to the melody of your harps.
24 But let justice roll down like waters,
and righteousness like an everflowing stream.
If you want to get a real feel for the impact of that set of verses, I highly recommend the first chapter of A.J. Heschel's book The Prophets. If you have never read it, you owe it to yourself to read it! Words to live by...
</idle musing>
Edification
This last week Alan Knox has been running a series on edification. They have all been good and are worth your time, but I want to highlight a bit of Friday's post:
<idle musing>
That's why the scripture says mutual edification. And that's why I am not a fan of so-called mentoring relationships; too often it is seen as one-way, which is not the way scripture describes it! But, when has that ever stopped us in the past :(
Oh, and while you are at Alan's blog, be sure to read the next post How will they hear without a preacher? Good stuff!
</idle musing>
Fourth, edification is a mutual process. If I only view myself as the “edifier” in a certain relationships, then I have misunderstood the way that God’s Spirit works through his children. Even if I am the more mature believer, I can still learn from and be encouraged by and be discipled by (i.e., edified by) a less mature brother or sister. I can be wrong… I am wrong in many of my beliefs, my relationships with others, and my way of life. Humility is very important in our relationships with other believers such that we are willing [to] accept the teaching, correction, example, etc. of others.
<idle musing>
That's why the scripture says mutual edification. And that's why I am not a fan of so-called mentoring relationships; too often it is seen as one-way, which is not the way scripture describes it! But, when has that ever stopped us in the past :(
Oh, and while you are at Alan's blog, be sure to read the next post How will they hear without a preacher? Good stuff!
</idle musing>
Friday, January 22, 2010
Cheap grace and child rearing
“I just read an article that spoke about one of the parenting gurus who died a few years back. He was one of those psychiatrists who pioneered the movement that taught parents not to discipline their kids but to allow autonomy as kids make mistakes and decisions on their own (let them touch a candle so they learn what “hot” is…). Just let the children make mistakes—that’s the best way to learn! On his deathbed this doctor confessed that the social scientists were wrong, saying, “We’ve raised a generation of brats.” Much of the seeker sensitive, postmodern church is in danger of making the same mistake. We can raise a generation of spiritual brats, that do whatever they want and no one can tell them otherwise. People come to the altar singing “Just as I am” and leave just as they were—a church that teaches what to believe but not how to live. A church that is scared of spiritual disciplines like simplicity, fasting, solitude, and chastity will not produce very good disciples.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
If there is no transformation, then I question whether there was a real understanding of what becoming a Christian meant. Intellectual assent without anything else isn't really believing, it is just cheap grace.
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
If there is no transformation, then I question whether there was a real understanding of what becoming a Christian meant. Intellectual assent without anything else isn't really believing, it is just cheap grace.
</idle musing>
Globalization and the Christian
Lawson Stone has been musing all week on the current trend towards globalization. Today's thoughts are quite poignant, so I quote a section:
<idle musing>
Does a fish know it is wet? Do we realize the degree to which we are embedded in our culture? Are we aware enough of what God is doing in the world to step outside our culture and stand against it where necessary? The prophets of old were; we should be, too.
</idle musing>
A lot of us are increasingly anxious to buy, use and eat things that were made or grown by ourselves and our neighbors, rather than be at the mercy of absentee CEO’s and anonymous Boards of Directors whose future will be unaltered by what happens to us here. Maybe the smaller church, grounded in the local community, where faith and mission intersect and overlay work, play, and family, is the future after all...
Obviously, Kingdom people, mission people, must always see the world. We Christians indeed long for the whole Bible to reach the whole world. But are we invested in one specific form of “global culture” whose values derive from industry and marketing, inimical to the biblical vision? A culture that depletes resources, damages the land and emaciates communities but somehow wants a worldwide outreach?
<idle musing>
Does a fish know it is wet? Do we realize the degree to which we are embedded in our culture? Are we aware enough of what God is doing in the world to step outside our culture and stand against it where necessary? The prophets of old were; we should be, too.
</idle musing>
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Elders and prophets
“In the best cases, leaders are not appointed, but they’re recognized. So many people talk about electing elders or appointing elders, but I’ve got a pastor friend that told me in their congregation they just “recognize” the elders. Folks already know who they are, they’ve already risen to the task by the time they are recognized. It’s the same kind of thing as if you’re a prophet, don’t say it, show it. You know, if you’re an elder, so we don’t need to cast lots or put names in a fishbowl.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
That's been my experience, as well. God raised them up; we just recognize what God has done. It's just too simple, isn't it?
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
That's been my experience, as well. God raised them up; we just recognize what God has done. It's just too simple, isn't it?
</idle musing>
Good theology
This showed up in my Inbox this morning:
<idle musing>
We have sold the gospel off for a few nickels; we have bought the "American Dream" and left true salvation on the floor. I'm glad Zondervan is publishing this book.
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
We have sold the gospel off for a few nickels; we have bought the "American Dream" and left true salvation on the floor. I'm glad Zondervan is publishing this book.
</idle musing>
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Rest and work
“Rest is symbolic of God finishing creation and then resting. Therefore, if we are to be more like God, there is rest for the people of God, too. For six days God created—we know the story in Genesis. Then He stopped. As leaders we need to see that there is a time for God’s work and a time to cease, the rest, to have a respite. But there is a paradox in this passage. God makes us His workmen, but we are to rest in Him—always rest in Him, not just on the seventh day. When we learn to rest in Him while we work, the work is no longer ours. It becomes His work because He is bearing the burden. He is bearing the load.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Hebrews 3 & 4: the rest for the people of God. It is God doing it through us; it is His work, not ours. If only we would remember that...we must rest in order for Him to work.
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
Hebrews 3 & 4: the rest for the people of God. It is God doing it through us; it is His work, not ours. If only we would remember that...we must rest in order for Him to work.
</idle musing>
Bibliomania to the extreme
There is an interesting story that was e-mailed to me about a Bibliomaniac Amok:
OK, we have a problem here. But, one that the blogger can relate to:
I, too, have been there. There was a time when I had over 2,000 books; they weren't worth anywhere near $1,000,000, but they were essential to my mental health—or so I thought. I had amassed them during my 13 years of college, and they represented my self-worth. My sense of worth wasn't in who God made me; it wasn't in being a husband or dad; it was in owning those books.
I didn't have an academic job, and it didn't look like I would get one—ever. That just made the existence of the book collection even more important to me. It represented what I had spent all that time and money on. But, God broke in.
He did it in an interesting way, though. He had our boiler go out in the middle of January in Minnesota—in a cold snap, too. There is no way that boiler should have broken; it was only 2-3 years old! But, it did.
So, what do you do? You have two kids and a wife—and no money. Well, you sell your treasured possessions. No, not your wife and kids! You sell your books. So, I did. I sold over 1,000 of them. Some of them went to Eisenbrauns, some to a local used bookseller who specialized in Classics.
And, you know what? Just like the blogger above, I experienced release. I was no longer bound by what I thought was keeping me free. I was free again. Strange, isn't it? The very things we think are keeping us free are actually binding us. There has got to be a sermon in there somewhere...
He owes $14,000 in back rent, has $14 to his name, he’s been out of work for two years, his landlord is evicting him, he agrees he should be tossed. He’s got a rare book collection of 3,000 books worth, by his estimate, $1,000,000.
OK, we have a problem here. But, one that the blogger can relate to:
I have experienced a similar situation. The period 1988-1999 was one of great difficulty and there were times when I had to consider selling my books. It was a wrenching decision - and my collection was no where near the size or value of Leif’s. I resisted, muddling along somehow, finding money someplace else, or just letting debt slide as I hunkered down in my house of books. The books comforted me; they were my friends. I think I also had the inchoate sense that to sell was to admit failure, not as a collector but as an adult. My self-worth was directly tied to the collection.
But there comes a time, and it came for me, when an extremely cold shower and hard slap are necessary to awaken dormant reality. The books have to go. It was, without over-dramatizing the situation, one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make...
I, too, have been there. There was a time when I had over 2,000 books; they weren't worth anywhere near $1,000,000, but they were essential to my mental health—or so I thought. I had amassed them during my 13 years of college, and they represented my self-worth. My sense of worth wasn't in who God made me; it wasn't in being a husband or dad; it was in owning those books.
I didn't have an academic job, and it didn't look like I would get one—ever. That just made the existence of the book collection even more important to me. It represented what I had spent all that time and money on. But, God broke in.
He did it in an interesting way, though. He had our boiler go out in the middle of January in Minnesota—in a cold snap, too. There is no way that boiler should have broken; it was only 2-3 years old! But, it did.
So, what do you do? You have two kids and a wife—and no money. Well, you sell your treasured possessions. No, not your wife and kids! You sell your books. So, I did. I sold over 1,000 of them. Some of them went to Eisenbrauns, some to a local used bookseller who specialized in Classics.
And, you know what? Just like the blogger above, I experienced release. I was no longer bound by what I thought was keeping me free. I was free again. Strange, isn't it? The very things we think are keeping us free are actually binding us. There has got to be a sermon in there somewhere...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sending or sedate?
The M blog has an interesting post on house churches:
He quotes from Simply Church:
<idle musing>
I see that a lot—people just moving from the pew to the couch...that is not what house churches are about.
House churches are not a safe place to hide your kids from the negative influence of those "bad kids" at the institutional church. House churches are not a safe alternative. If they are, then they aren't being true to God's calling. House churches are supposed to be dangerous—dangerous to a consumerist mindset; dangerous to superficial relations; dangerous to cultural christianity; dangerous to selfishness. If they aren't, then you have just moved from the pew to the couch.
</idle musing>
House churches are not permanent structures. They were never intended to be ongoing "home versions" of church. The idea that "church" is something solid, permanent, or institutional, is more what we have fashioned the church into becoming over the centuries, but not what is described in the book of Acts. [emphasis his]
He quotes from Simply Church:
House churches should be neither independent, nor permanent. If they are they will not multiply, but will only have shifted people from the pew to the sofa. Instead, they should be an interdependent network. Each house church is a debriefing center and a sending center that sends people out...
<idle musing>
I see that a lot—people just moving from the pew to the couch...that is not what house churches are about.
House churches are not a safe place to hide your kids from the negative influence of those "bad kids" at the institutional church. House churches are not a safe alternative. If they are, then they aren't being true to God's calling. House churches are supposed to be dangerous—dangerous to a consumerist mindset; dangerous to superficial relations; dangerous to cultural christianity; dangerous to selfishness. If they aren't, then you have just moved from the pew to the couch.
</idle musing>
guilt
“Guilt can be a major reason why people lead, but it doesn’t last, you know. Guilt can be a good thing at first, like when you realize the truth about poverty, slavery, or the amount of stuff that we consume in America. Guilt can be a good indicator, but it is a terrible motivator. You cannot lead out of guilt. Once you have paid your dues or appeased your conscience, then you need some other motivation or you’ll just move on.”—;Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
And it is very easy to appease the conscience. We are great at rationalizing things away—and moving on...until the next bought of guilt hits.
Until we allow Christ to cleanse us—and realize that he already has—we will continue on the guilt cycle.
Οὐδὲν ἄρα νῦν κατάκριμα τοῖς ἐν Χριστῷ Ἰησοῦ.
(Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus) Romans 8:1
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
And it is very easy to appease the conscience. We are great at rationalizing things away—and moving on...until the next bought of guilt hits.
Until we allow Christ to cleanse us—and realize that he already has—we will continue on the guilt cycle.
Οὐδὲν ἄρα νῦν κατάκριμα τοῖς ἐν Χριστῷ Ἰησοῦ.
(Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus) Romans 8:1
</idle musing>
Monday, January 18, 2010
Outsourcing
“There is a new type of colonization and enslavement in our day —we call it outsourcing. We let the poor of developing nations make our goods without educating or training them to get out of poverty. We also “in-source” by culling for the brightest minds of other countries, bringing them here to educate them and keeping them here to work—to make our nation a better place. While that helps us and the individuals who immigrate to the United States, it drains the native country. It works to our advantage and their detriment. The whole world would benefit if we actually trained those who live in poverty and impoverished communities and helped them create jobs in their own lands. That would truly be the Good News.”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Another form of colonialism, but we don't see it, don't think about it. In fact, we probably are encouraging it by our consuming of goods and services. But, how do we work against it? How do we incarnate Christ in this situation?
These are honest questions. I don't have an answer, but would like some input.
Reducing consumption of goods isn't really the answer. Although it might be part of the answer, it doesn't get at the real problem, which is the exploitation of another person for what they can give us. The solution is to treat them a human beings, created in the image of God, and to show them the love of Jesus. But, how do we do that???
If you have ideas, please let me know. I want to be part of God's solution here, and I feel like I am part of the problem...
</idle musing>
<idle musing>
Another form of colonialism, but we don't see it, don't think about it. In fact, we probably are encouraging it by our consuming of goods and services. But, how do we work against it? How do we incarnate Christ in this situation?
These are honest questions. I don't have an answer, but would like some input.
Reducing consumption of goods isn't really the answer. Although it might be part of the answer, it doesn't get at the real problem, which is the exploitation of another person for what they can give us. The solution is to treat them a human beings, created in the image of God, and to show them the love of Jesus. But, how do we do that???
If you have ideas, please let me know. I want to be part of God's solution here, and I feel like I am part of the problem...
</idle musing>
New Testament gatherings
Roger at Simple Church Blog has some reflections on New Testament gatherings:
<idle musing>
He goes on to describe aspects of the New Testament gathering, but his main point is that we have it backwards. The point of church is notSunday mornings! The point of church is to be a body of believers 7 days a week, one of which happens to include a more (or less!) formal meeting as a larger group. Without the body life the rest of the week, Sunday is just a shell of what it could be.
Now, as Roger says, when transitioning out of an institutional church, the Sunday gathering can be very important. But, it should always have as its underlying purpose the creation of body life the other 6 days.
</idle musing>
Since our old paradigm of church life has often revolved around the Sunday morning gathering, we often find ourselves on a quest to discover what “New Testament” gatherings might look like and feel like. We have learned from our church traditions that the make-up and how-to of the gathering is at the crux of the Christian life so, if we are transitioning into simple/organic/house church type experiences, we tend to become very focused on the make-up and how-to of these new types of gatherings.
The result is that stage two, for many transitioning Christians, is the exploration of New Testament gatherings.
While this is natural, if we remain in this stage as the end-all of our transition, we will not fully grasp that Jesus calls us first to an organic lifestyle and only secondarily to organic gatherings (as a result of our lifestyle of fully following him)...
In fact, one of the difficulties in describing New Testament gatherings is that scripture does not provide us with the kinds of specifics that we would want. Jesus called his followers to radically follow him, yet he offers virtually no instruction on what to do during a “prayer meeting” or a “church service.” Yet the disciples did gather and were an intimate community. From this, we can deduce that the lifestyle of mission (following Jesus and being a light to the world) was the guiding star of their relationship with God and one another. Gatherings supported this lifestyle, not the other way around.
<idle musing>
He goes on to describe aspects of the New Testament gathering, but his main point is that we have it backwards. The point of church is notSunday mornings! The point of church is to be a body of believers 7 days a week, one of which happens to include a more (or less!) formal meeting as a larger group. Without the body life the rest of the week, Sunday is just a shell of what it could be.
Now, as Roger says, when transitioning out of an institutional church, the Sunday gathering can be very important. But, it should always have as its underlying purpose the creation of body life the other 6 days.
</idle musing>
Friday, January 15, 2010
Interruptions
“Interruptions are a theme in Scripture. We have a God that is continually interrupting us—interrupting our routines, our patterns of inequity, the status quo. Abraham’s life was interrupted. Moses’s life was interrupted. John’s life and my life were interrupted by the Spirit.
The gospels are stories of interruption after interruption. Jesus was at a wedding in Cana, but the feast is interrupted when they ran out of wine. Jesus was resting at a well when a woman wanting water interrupts Him. Jesus was on his way to visit a sick child when someone tugs on his shirt. The incredible thing is that He was always available and attentive to the interruptions and surprises...”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Debbie reminded me the other day about a section in The Shack where Papa kept interrupting Mac. He got irate with God for interrupting him! But, we do the same thing! Interruptions are things that get in the way of doing what we want to do—even if they are from God.
Lord, keep interrupting my life whenever it isn't your life in me!
</idle musing>
The gospels are stories of interruption after interruption. Jesus was at a wedding in Cana, but the feast is interrupted when they ran out of wine. Jesus was resting at a well when a woman wanting water interrupts Him. Jesus was on his way to visit a sick child when someone tugs on his shirt. The incredible thing is that He was always available and attentive to the interruptions and surprises...”—Follow Me to Freedom: Leading As an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne and John Perkins
<idle musing>
Debbie reminded me the other day about a section in The Shack where Papa kept interrupting Mac. He got irate with God for interrupting him! But, we do the same thing! Interruptions are things that get in the way of doing what we want to do—even if they are from God.
Lord, keep interrupting my life whenever it isn't your life in me!
</idle musing>
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