Sunday, December 17, 2006


<idle musing>
Ouch! It hurt, but it had to be done.

Saturday I was frustrated. How can people be so dense? I try so hard, but it just doesn't seem to happen. I don't seem to get anywhere. I, I, I, I...

That should have been my first clue. As I am so fond of telling others, you can tell a lot about a person by the subject of the sentence. But, no, I went on bullheadedly and let my frustration rule me instead of the love of Christ.

So, if I am running the show, what do you think will come out? Yep, me, self-righteous, Pharisaical, proud, arrogant, the list goes on. Sure, it might contain truth, but is it the truth, spoken in love? That is the true test. It is only as I function in the love of Christ that anything will ever be accomplished.

A good Christian brother pointed out the problem to me, but I only saw half the problem. Even after I posted the Bonhoeffer quote, and mused on it, I didn't realize the extent of my sin. Only now, two days after, and who knows how many people hurt, did it become evident to me.

What am I talking about? I made some posts that I should not have—probably not the first time—but these were different; they weren't just frivolous. These were mean-spirited; they reflected the worst of me, my pride and desire to be right at all costs. Self-vindication is a cruel task master and loves to eat its victims up, all the while making them think they are justified in their actions. But, the light of God shines brighter and shone through, setting me free once again.

So, I did something I've never done before, I took down some posts. They were posted in arrogance and pride, and if anyone was hurt, I ask your forgiveness.

I am not given to this kind of public confession. But, the sin was public, therefore the confession should also be public.
</idle musing>