The Perfect Parent

When I saw the cover of Christianity Today this month, I had to laugh. I've been waiting for the lead article to become available ever since. They posted it on Friday, but I didn't discover it until today. The article title is The Myth of the Perfect Parent and it is loaded with gold, like this little snippet:

...We have absorbed the cultural belief in psychological determinism but spiritualized it with Bible verses, and one verse in particular. The result is a Christianized version of the cultural myth. It reads something like this: "Christian parenting techniques produce godly children."

Proverbs 22:6 has been widely adopted as both psychological premise and theological promise, despite the widespread recognition that hermeneutically, the Proverbs are not promises from God, but general observations and maxims. (Ironically, if King Solomon did pen this proverb, as many biblical scholars believe, he himself failed to exemplify its truth: In his old age, he abandoned the teaching and example of his father, as "his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been" [1 Kings 11:4].)

Despite these problems, entire formulas and programs have been created to divine and instruct on the kind of parental training that will secure the desired outcome. At least one of these programs, claiming to instruct in God's ways of raising children, has sold in the millions...

<idle musing>
Yep. It isn't a promise, it is what is called a "gnomic saying"—a general observation that is usually true. Of course, that doesn't preach as well, or sell as many books. And, to be totally honest, there were times in parenting when I used it as a promise to console the "failures" that happened.

I praise God that both our kids love Jesus, but I can't take the credit. Sure, I tried my best; sure, I prayed and fasted; sure, I agonized and disciplined them. But, they were and are God's, not mine. It wasn't until Debbie and I really realized that and stopped criticizing and critiquing the kids that we were able to relax and actually enjoy parenting. Well, maybe that isn't totally true, but hindsight isn't always accurate :) But, the pressure was off them and us. We just were called to be faithful; the results weren't in our hands.

If you are (or will be—actually even if you don't ever think you'll have kids) parents, you should read the whole article (although I would quibble with certain statements she makes...). Hopefully, after reading it, you'll be able to relax and enjoy the ride. I can guarantee you it will be interesting!

How about that, Renee? I didn't even share embarrassing stories :)
</idle musing>