What are you talking about?

A man is always most easily excited on that subject that lies nearest his heart.—Bring that up, and he is interested. When you can talk early and late about the news and other worldly topics, and when you cannot possibly be interested in the subject of religion, you know that your heart is not in it, and if you pretend to be a servant of God, you are a hypocrite.—Charles Finney

<idle musing>
Listen to someone for about 5 minutes and you can know what is important to them. Also, listen for what the subject of most sentences is. If it is "I," then you can rest assured that death to self won't be high on their priorities...
</idle musing>