“The entire process (of self-development) can be very exciting and entertaining. But the problem is there's no end to it. The fantasy is that if one heads in the right direction and just works hard enough and gets actualized, one will be there. None of us is quite certain exactly where there is, but it obviously has something to do with resting.
“In retrospect, my ponderous ponderings on the purgative, illuminative, and unitive stages of my spiritual life, my assiduous search for shortcuts to holiness, my preoccupation with my spiritual pulse and my fasts, mortifications and penances have wrought pseudobliss and the egregious delusion that I was securely ensconced in the seventh mansion of spiritual perfection.
“What would I actually do if I had it to do all over again? Heeding John's counsel, I would simply do the next thing in love.”— The Furious Longing of God, page 62
</idle musing>
Do yourself a favor; listen to his advice! Brennan is in his 70's; if he can't get there by his own works after all these years and spiritual disciplines, who do you think you are that you can?
Just let it all go and rest/abide/stay/remain (μενω) in who God is and what Christ has done on the cross.
<idle musing>
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