I was cleaning out my old e-mails and ran across this gem from last August. I thought I would pass it along on the first Friday of the year. Enjoy, or not?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses side-saddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man
who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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2 comments:
Thanks! That's the best laugh I've had in a week!.
Ha, ha. Those were quite something surely. :)
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