Persona

<idle musing>
We all do it to a greater or lesser extent. We choose a persona we want to project to a particular audience and that is who we become for them. We are very careful to always wear the correct one with the correct audience. The only problem comes when there is a mixed audience—then we have to choose which persona we want to portray. Tough decision, the mask won't fit both crowds, which one is more important to me?

That is when more of who I really am shows through. The persona I choose under pressure or before a mixed audience reveals it. I can talk a pretty picture, dance a nice dance; but when I am forced to choose between two or more options, the one I choose shows people and myself what I am made of.

This is hypocrisy! It is unworthy of the gospel and shows that my Christianity is only skin deep; that I value the judgment of humanity more than the judgment of God. Jesus has pretty harsh words for people like that in the gospels. But, I justify it, blow it off and say it is just hyperbole—a great word to use to be more self-righteous and self-satisfied.

What caused this introspection, you ask? The "books I am reading" list, that's what. I rarely read popular Christian stuff, it isn't part of who I am. But, there is a Christian bookstore that is going out of business and listing everything at 50% off. I picked up a few—OK, more that a few—books. Some of them were pretty much popular. Last weeekend I started reading one of them, Living in His Presence: Experiencing 'God With Us'-the Immanuel Factor. Do I list this book? It isn't in the normal persona that I project? What will people think? Et cetera...

Well, as you can clearly see, I listed it. I am 2/3 done with it and it isn't very good. He is sloppy in his exegesis and pretty basic in his insights. There are a few jewels, but it barely justifies the time spent. But, that is all an aside. The point is that I am a bookseller for an academic publisher; that is the persona I was trying to protect and portray here. Is it accurate? Usually! But, God calls us to an honesty and openness that is beyond usually. To do otherwise dishonors what He has done in my life, it allows me to protect the "old self" that is dead, to try to revive it and pretend that my life is my own. To deny that I was "bought with a price" by something much more valuable than what persona I project in what venue.

I could say more, but it is time to go to work. Another persona or more of who I really am? Trusting in God, more of who I really am...to do otherwise is to disobey, and as the quote for today says, "unbelief is ever the cause of disobedience."
</idle musing>